I am female bodied submissive and while there is a lot of tomboy in me, I am learning to be more of a lady. I consider it my job to try to be what my Sir needs and wants. I am his pet and it makes me feel good to serve him. This is something that I have chosen. I serve a man, not because I believe that is the way it should be, but because the way he dominates me makes me feel so good.
For me, being a pet provides much needed security. A relationship may end, but one never who is a decent human being just gets rid of a pet. If anything, you find another home. I do have some canine traits, but I don’t identify as one. I like tails and playing fetch and I love my kennel, but always feel human.
If I had to put a label on my sexual orientation, I would call myself bi/pansexual. Mainly, I am drawn to dominant energy. I love it when someone knows what they want and how to get it. I love it when someone “takes charge.” I have been in long-term relationships with both men and women. I have also been in a couple of polyamorous relationships, however I don’t think I am cut out for polyamory.
I am very drawn to service. Sir is amazed by all that I do. My favorite forms of service are keeping the house in order and providing for his physical and emotional needs. I am his secretary, his nurse, his housekeeper, his cook, his personal assistant, his strap-on wielding woman and his lover wrapped up in a fun sized package.
I am a masochist. The more turned on I get the more pain I can take and the more I want. I love to spanked. I love to be handled roughly. I love the way Sir pulls my hair. Oh, there are so many things I love, but I love Sir the most. He is so good to me and I am very lucky.
I also love bondage. I enjoy being restrained any way possible.
Here is how I think I became submissive:
I think my submission comes from my biology and also from how I was raised. The whole nature/nurture thing. I’ve always been a natural loner and/or follower. I’m an only child and was raised by my grandparents. I learned from my grandmother that children and especially women should be subservient, to men in particular, but everyone in general. While I have rejected the idea of male superiority, I still have subservient tendencies.
My grandfather placed more importance with men and “men’s” work. I could do the same task as my male relatives, but they would always receive more praise. I really wanted my grandfather’s approval, so I tried to be as male as possible. I learned to do pretty much anything around the house. I was very much a tomboy. I really hated my femaleness because I saw it as a weakness and the reason my grandfather was never proud of me.
My mother wasn’t very capable of raising me. She had her own issues. My grandparents really emphasized not being like her. As a consequence, everything my mother did I saw as bad and undesirable. The main things I learned to not do were not to have sex, not talk about my feelings or say anything that could make people uncomfortable. Also, you must make lots of money to be seen as a good person.
Because of my grandparent’s attitude towards my mother’s sexuality, I was a pretty late bloomer. I didn’t know what a clitoris was until my mother gave me ‘The Joy of Sex’ when I was 18. I didn’t have an orgasm until I was almost 21, but looking back I realize that I had other ways of getting myself off. I’ve always had a fascination with my butthole. I was always putting items in it and I loved standing on my head in the shower and having the water jet on my pussy.
I started college at 16, which allowed me the freedom to experiment. The first online porn video I ever watched was a three-way with two guys and a woman in the middle being fucked hard. That really turned me on. The internet was what first awakened my sexuality. Thank goodness I had my own computer. I loved images of bondage and stories of women being tied up, used and gang raped.
I started engaging in self bondage soon after. I’d stuff my ass with anything I could find, tie my nipples together with dental floss until they bled, and cover myself with duct tape. It took me awhile before it dawned on me that I could have others do these things to me. That’s when I began to start to learn about myself, my sexual feelings and the kind of partners I would like to have.
I’ve always been the kinkier one in my close relationships. I have a tendency to kinkify my lovers. Sir and I went through a lot to get where we are now. We both made this unconscious commitment to discover what each other likes and do our best to provide it. We’ve both learned from each other.
For me, I like providing service. I like fixing things. I like taking care of him. I want him to fuck me roughly. I love hearing him tell me how he could hurt me, kill me, but how he won’t because I make him so happy. I know that sounds fucked up, but that’s how I like it.
For him, I’ve learned how he likes to be touched, how he likes his steak, and how to fuck his ass. I never did much strap-on play before him. I really love it. For me it’s the ultimate form of service. With him, I’ve also learned how much fun it can be to play with others. Being with him has really made me come alive.
I never thought my life would turn out like this or ever be this good. I’m so fortunate that I have found someone I can serve who takes care of me so well.
- 25 Things About You and Your Submission (iamapet.wordpress.com)