Can you have a dominant personality and still be submissive? How does someone with an independent, in-control attitude learn to submit and serve?
I’m having a hard time with this one. I would like to think that I have a submissive personality, but I know that isn’t true in all areas. It’s gotten me into trouble often enough. There are things that I feel are my job and I want to do them my way.
The big one is cooking. I am happy to cook food the way Sir likes it, but I don’t like when he wants to change my menu ideas. An example is that I had my Easter menu all picked out, we found out that my grandmother is bringing potato salad (which we don’t like) so Sir wanted me to make something that will go with that. His only suggestion was ham. We also both don’t like ham. I have never cooked a ham. I didn’t understand why he wanted ham. I got defensive and a little mad.
Another on is buying things for the house. Sir ordered some bed sheets from ebay. He has done this before and they sheets have turned out to be crap. I have already been going through this narrative in my head about how I should pick out the sheets – the sheets haven’t even gotten here yet and I’m assuming they will be like the other ones.
I am stubborn, that I know. I haven’t really gotten the hang of giving up control in theses situations. I tend to feel like I’m being challenged and how dare he question me. These aren’t the best thoughts for a submissive to have.
So how do I learn to submit during these times? I know it is a matter of thinking before I speak/act and letting things go. I’ve been trying to follow the idea that if it won’t be a bit deal next week then it isn’t a big deal now.
When I feel like this it can really screw with our relationship. Sir has a type A personality, but he’s not what I would call a natural dominant. If I push back against him it doesn’t make him push harder it just makes us both feel sucky.