“We all use these terms freely like Daddy and little, but seriously think back to when you were 4 or 5… Did the thought ever enter your head of where supper came from? How your school clothes appeared in your closet? What caused that warm bed with the covers and teddy bear to be in your room?
That same blind, childlike faith is whats needed for you to submit completely.” (FetLife)
Reading these words last month in a discussion on FetLife something in them called to me. It’s possible they call to you too. For me it was a realization of just how deep trust and faith run in my submission. How it brings the transparency of a small child to the forefront and my submission is fresh and new each and every time I get a chance to display it.
Nothing about my submission came easy. I’m not what many call a natural submissive. But when I do submit the pleasure is the same. I’d grown up completely independent and in charge of everything around me. I’d been treated unfairly and then believed that I deserved whatever I had placed before me; good or bad.
It took me the happiness of love and the understanding and patience that that love afforded for me to relax into myself and find that the child I once was would help me find pleasure in my submission. The quote is quite true for me. I had to approach submission with that same awe and acceptance. Caring not where that would take me or what the world might think of me for doing so.
I had to let go of the what if’s and whys; the how would it look, what happens if. All to allow the submission I had in me out. It has turned me from a bratty, belligerent, rude and mistrusting woman into the happy, passionate, good girl submissive I am today and will continue to grow and shift for Master.
Take the time to slowly see submission as a child would. Never questioning the reasoning or results. Embrace it as just the way of it. The Dominance in which you yield is a comfort and you should trust it. Curl up in it at night and know that everything is taken care of if you would just submit.
I know it’s not an easy concept to grasp; hell, it’s taken me over 5 years to see the full of it. I may not even have a glimmer of it fully but I can see where I’m headed now. And I’m thrilled by it. I welcome it with open arms.
While the article and the Fetlife discussion are interesting, it was the image that really struck a chord with me. I’ve been so very depressed these past few weeks. Sir feels like he must have done something wrong. He asked me if my collar makes me sad or if he shouldn’t have used his belt on me. I laughed and cried – I wish he could understand that those things are things that I need. I need to be his pet. I need him to discipline me. I need the attention he gives me when my head is resting on his leg, just like the dog in the picture.
I found another image that speaks to me:
This is what I want to be. I don’t want to be sad, depressed, or suicidal. I want to be a good girl, a good pet. I want to be ok. I want to love Sir so much that I will be happy with any situation. I want to trust that he knows what’s best for me and will take care of me.
Right now I’m the one who needs to be taken care of. I’m the one causing stress.