No, I wasn’t a bad pet, but this post is about punishment. I’ve been reading in various places on the web and I get so tired of people saying you have to watch how you punish a masochist. People seem to assume that just because masochists enjoy pain that physical punishment won’t work for them. This idea really bothers me. When I have talk about it in various forums I’m told that I’m just looking for a pleasurable punishment. Yes, I like it when Sir beats me, but having to brace myself against the bed and be hit, knowing that I have displeased him are two very different things. I don’t know why I need (and I really think it is a need) to by physically punished. Writing lines or doing chores just doesn’t give me that release I need. I feel I need to pay for my misdeeds with pain. Even then, it’s hard for me to feel like it’s all over when my punishment is done. If I displease Sir, I feel absolutely worthless. Minor things become major. I’m not like this with the rest of the world. I can screw up at work and it doesn’t make me feel less about myself. When I’m bad, I feel like I need to earn forgiveness from him. I feel the best way I can do this is by struggling through the pain. It’s not trying to have an enjoyable punishment. I don’t understand why people can’t understand that the same action can have different meanings.