I just read Nurtured or Natural: Submission and Abuse from The Submissive Guide. I found myself thinking have nature vs nurture when it comes to submission. The article was wondering if more submissives were abused as children than the rest of the population. My own upbringing had bumps and issues, but I think I was truly raised to be a submissive. Maybe not in the kinky sense, but in being submissive towards men. I was raised by my grandparents which was a bit old fashioned.
My grandfather was king. He didn’t have to do anything and was catered to constantly. I accepted this as a young child, but as I got older I had issues with it. I think I became a tomboy because I saw how much respect my grandfather got just because he was a man. I really wanted my grandparents’ approval, so I tried to be as stereotypical male as possible. For a long time I wanted as sex change. To them, not showing emotion and making a lot of money were important to being a success.
So, I grew up confilcted. Part of me felt that I needed to be male to be worth anything and part of me felt submissive to men. I did go through a man hating period. I felt like men didn’t earn the respect and privilages they got. I still feel like that with some men.
Being with Sir has brought out more of my submission. He earned my respect and my submission. I didn’t call him Sir until then. What is different with him is he appreciates my submission and doesn’t feel that I am less of a person for being submissive and female.
Being submissive to him is very natural for me. I know it sounds funny to say that my grandmother was very influential in my submission. She has no idea that I am a submissive and kinky, but I know she likes Sir in part because of his dominant energy, not that she’d see it that way.
So that’s how I think I was nurtured to be a submissive. Did nature have anything to do with it? Well if I would have been born a boy, my grandparents would have treated me very differently. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have turned out to be as obnoxious as my grandfather.