Life has been a bit stressful since mid February. Our triad is no longer. My almost eight year relationship with my Domina is over. Our relationship has always been bumpy, but since Sir has entered our lives, I’ve become more his than her’s and it’s my own fault.
I don’t feel poly anymore. I just want to be with Sir and play with other people. We no longer have to limit ourselves to submissive male play partners.
But it’s more than that. I feel free. I can submit in a way that is healthy and satisfying for me. Sir cherishes and appreciates me. He no longer feels that he needs to hide our relationship. He wants me to meet his family. This new change has done so much for my feeling of security. I’m finally where I belong. I am completely devoted to him. Before I felt like I needed all this structure and gear in order to be fulfilled. Chains and collars and protocol were the only things that made me feel my place. I don’t need any of that anymore. I naturally feel submissive with Sir, even when I’m standing next to him in a store. It’s incredible to always feel his power and know where my place is. He doesn’t need to wrap me in chains or collar my neck. I am more permanently marked than any outward sign. And this isn’t a new feeling, I felt it almost from day one, over two years ago, but now I finally get to completely embrace that feeling.
I never meant for this to happen. He was suppose to be my submissive brother, but he was still on his journey – he does not have a submissive soul, only enjoys submissive acts. I still feel some sadness and guilt for the way this has turned out, but this is what is best for me.